We were in Jamaica for seven heavenly nights last week. We were so happy. We were doing a good job breathing. And sleeping. And laughing from our bellies.
On our way back to the airport in Montego Bay, I found myself engaging in a heated debate with Myself. It went something like this:
Self One: What the hell are you talking about? Of course you can't just STAY in Jamaica forever. You have things to take care of!
Self Two: I think I'm going to make a break for it. I could wait tables at the resort. Work the front desk. I don't need anything I've got back home. Home is BORING. There's more to life, and I think it's right here at Beaches Negril. The family could visit me from time to time. I think I'm going to do it. (Gets up to ask driver to pull over)
Self One: (Tackling Self One and throwing her back in her seat) You wouldn't last five minutes on this island by yourself. Sit down and stop being ridiculous.
Self Two: Is that a DARE? Cuz I'm pretty competitive you know. And I'm fairly sure you're underestimating me. Say the word if it's a dare, you coward! (mutters) You were always terrified of anything exciting.
Self One: Did you just call me a COWARD, you reckless commitment phobic dreamer? Come back to Earth, honey! We have bills to pay, children to raise, commitments to honor. It's just like you to be so selfish.
Self Two: And it's just like you to be so disgustingly PREDICTABLE! I'd rather put salt in my eyeballs than hang out and talk to boring old you! Watch and weep, sister. I'm going in! (To bus driver) Excuse me...sir? Would you mind...
Self One: (still to driver) ...explaining to me what that building is used for? Molasses refinery? Ah ha! Very interesting. Thank you, sir.
Self Two: I'll get you for that. You just wait.
And so on. Self One won, obviously, but Self Two is not a gracious loser, so I do believe there's more to come from her.
Meanwhile, back in my real life, the crocuses are up. They are doing their part to try to restore my love for this town which lies so very far north of the equator.
Murders and puppies and failed selfies.
15 hours ago