Saturday, November 7, 2009

Why Wait?

The crunchy golden maple leaves are thigh deep in my back yard. I like them best when they're on the ground, really, because you still get the acute, high-frequency colors of fall that they offer when they're on the trees, but you get to add the crisp sound and the wake-me-up smell when they're on the ground. They're the same color as my dogs, which makes for good entertainment, as well as a leg up for those guys when they want to stay outside because I can't find them and drag them inside. They lay in the leaves and hide from mama like a fully camouflaged sniper in the jungle.

This morning I stood on the deck, wrapped in fleece, waiting for my dogs to surrender their game. It was early still, golden, quiet, so I knew there'd be a giveaway rustle soon. A stray puff of breath rising like a geyser. A wag. I stood watching my own breath all foggy in the morning air and waited for them to come out come out wherever you are. Fall all around, I bathed in it for a bit. Up the maple tree in the back yard - the one that holds the tire swing - I saw it shimmering.

The last leaf on the tree.

Golden red, it was the one who won (or did he lose?) the contest of tenacity. He's holding fast. Afraid? Not wanting to give up what he knows?

For the love of god...go with your friends and family!

I remember how long I stood on the high dive at camp, knees rattling, knowing I had to jump to pass the life guarding test, but terrified into a kind of paralysis. Is that what's going on for you, leaf? Because if it is, I can tell you that the landing was downright exhilarating. To say nothing of the pride I felt for conquering my fears. Go ahead, dude...jump!

All alone makes me sad, even in the world of leaves. It's time to go, honey. Your friends are there to cushion your fall and throw you a party. Let go and join 'em.


just making my way said...


Seeing a brand new post from you, darling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So happy you decided to jump back in.


Laggin said...

Welcome back. Missed you.

MsPicketToYou said...

last night i dreamed of you. soccer ball and wanting to beat it and couldn't and then you, like you are know, just smiling at me.

this... beautiful thing... by you (!!) at last (!!!):

so glad you were the near the soccer ball; so grateful you will run with it.

Kari said...

WOW! I was so excited to read a post from you, then - to make it even better - your post TOTALLY spoke to me! I just got laid off today, and actually, I kinda raised my hand for it. I've been needing a change for a long time now, but haven't been able to get myself to make that leap. Now, I have no choice, and you are right - it's exhilerating!!!

Zip n Tizzy said...

Oh how I have missed you!

Nice to hear (read) your voice.

VT Mom said...

I wonder what it says about me that I once hung upside down and shook all the lingering leaves out of the tree...Fall Dammit!! Maybe I should have coerced them down.

Its nice to read your post again!

anymommy said...

The leap is always hard. I've missed you and your gorgeous words too.

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Vodka Mom said...

I hope all is well with you, my friend.

Vodka Mom said...

and I'd like to add a DITTO to hxr. He put it so eloquently.

Laggin said...

If I say hello here, will there be an echo? I "get" taking a break. But how are you?

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Vodka Mom said...

i am SO tempted to say, "What hxr said."

but I won't.

Vodka Mom said...

you are amazing, I miss you.

just making my way said...

Hey you. Don't know if you get notice of these. But just wanted to say I miss you and hope all is well. Hoping that your life is full and busy and happy and that is why you are not here. Hoping we can someday get together again for more drinks and girl talk.



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