Will: Mom, what did the vet actually do with Hobbes's balls when he cut them off? Cuz, I think throwing someone's balls away, like in the garbage can or a dumpster or something, is kinda' mean.
Chloe, age 8, upon learning how babies are made: Okay. So, they do that in the bathroom, right?
5th grade student (girl) after watching puberty movie: Am I seriously going to have to have hair in my armpits?
Another 5th grade girl: Wait. You put that tampon thing IN there?
Chloe, age 4, upon seeing a picture of an iron: What's that? A funny phone or something?
Will, last week, before going to his first day of DAYcamp: Mom, I know what you got Chloe last year when she was at sleepaway camp, but what will you put in my care package? And when will I get it?
Me, to person staring at me from within mirrors: Who in the hell are YOU? And where did you put me?
Peter: Michael Jackson's still dead. Why do they need to keep reporting it?
Sun: Massachusetts? Nope. Never heard of it.
Murders and puppies and failed selfies.
15 hours ago